Thursday, February 4, 2016

Love's Insanity


I am at times told that I must know a lot about love, but all I really know is that love comes to those who wait. I am floundering around in the dark like everyone else trying to find my rightful place, however I have learned a few important lessons on my personal journey about  the insanity that love can create.
When we love we need to like the person we think is our ideal mate and that is where patience comes into play. The person you love may also be the person you don’t like; if that sounds confusing…it is!

There should be no power play and not a hint of a lie. There must also be a deep connection of mind before there is a connection of bodies.  The question is; are we strong enough to wait? Usually not, that is a fact and the common denominator that can lead us either to a place of darkness and regret or absolute heaven...a little ‘getting to know you' time would give clear indication of the conflict reasoning that makes warning signs  prominent.

I have a deep faith in God; this comes from a place of trauma and loss, a place of loneliness and despair. I came to a point in my life where God was/is my only hope of peace, he is my nurturer on the long path back to what became obsolete...steadiness of thought.

People are so quick to label others with negative judgement and that of course includes me, but I know it is not my place. However, prudence with a watchful eye is needed to live your life with the kind of responsible thought that should be attached to decision-making; this in turn can foster a feeling of dignity. We as humans are meant to enjoy our lives and we can do this by making good choices; it is what sets us apart from the apes. (Not forgetting table manners and accessorising)
A keen sense of observation helps to keep us on the journey of discovery, by doing this we find the key to wisdom. We are frail and if we can learn from our mistakes and from the mistakes of others we have done very well.

My world fell apart with the sudden death of my husband and I came to know hatred and despair first hand; I knew there had to be a turning point or I would go under. Through the kindness of family and friends and a boost from those little miracle pills that feed half the Western world (anti-depressants) I became at least half a person again, able to think for myself...and able to take full charge of my life.
Today I am able to laugh and be in the company of others again. 

Contrary to some train of thought God does not put us in a position that will cause dilemma, we put ourselves there by being doormats. If trauma occurs we need to do what is difficult and that is to try to be astute and discerning, we know this feeling, it comes from the soul and the tells us to slow down; do we listen? NO!
We plunge in head first and crack our skulls in the process.

Love in its true form brings forth only good feelings of joy and lasting happiness, not trauma or the notion of low self-esteem. We recognise love by its cornerstone...happiness...if the joy in love is not present then we need to re-think our situation. Let us try to be discerning at a time when we are absorbed and smitten by the love/lust emotion...thereby allowing ourselves room to think on a safe level of true understanding that can halt indecision and clearly establish reality.

Where I Belong

For my Husband...Allan

Where I Belong

My heart...ever tattered
Misses you
My Soul...still in tact
Trusts my Lord
To lift me he did with you
And place me where I belong
Back in your arms
Safe...cared about and loved unconditionally

I look to the Sunshine and my hope is restored
And ignore the dark clouds
That try to keep me bound
To nothing in particular

All that was beautiful in my dreams
No longer exists
There is no joy where there is no you

I don't wonder if you're happy
Because I know you are

My need to tell you of my life since you...
Is strong and ever present
In a mind that is half full of disappointment
And half void due to my will

I know...
I am aware...
That I live because I have to
And love because I need to

Emptiness unseen...
Trauma not noticed...
Yet love for you is constantly refreshed
These thoughts arise from a living soul
That whispers daily to my dying heart...

Be still...all will be well.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Song of Life

So painful to consider the past
Though memories drift above my head
Giant eagles of hope and love
Wave goodbye in unison blue

The sweetest melancholy
Brings my heart to skipping
And the strongest yearning
Keeps it grounded in dew

Where is your song of life
To help me breathe?
Anger, sadness and happiness
Dance around me
As if they could make a difference
To lonely

Wednesday, September 4, 2013


It is the still of night
That takes us to places loved
Calm, peaceful places only dreamed
Can we afford not to visit
The beauty of love at peace?

It is the serenity of prayer
That leads us to a higher plane
One of tranquility and love offered
Where we gather with celestial splendor
And see ourselves clearly in the face of God

Where then does the soul receive sustenance?
Is it the still of night
Or the serenity of prayer?
The combination of these two
Is where the tranquil breezes wave the wheat
And cover the heart with comfort

That longed for comfort…

Sunday, September 1, 2013

The Olive Grove

Love falls beneath the black moon
Severing ties once so richly made
The night sky is starless once again
And as the inky clouds give birth to a stunning dawn
No pleasure will she find through heavy eyelids

He does not know that love was complete
And as she remembers him
She understands the captivation
That led the olive grove
She breaks a branch of comfort there
Hoping to find a resting place with him

Somewhere in time~

Yet...what comes to mind?

Loving does not hold a record of wrongs
If it is pure as was said so often
Her entire life has been lived for this moment...
A time of reconciliation with her soul
And deep examination of conscience
Came to life in the olive grove today...

She had been made redundant
She had made him redundant
That should have been the end of their perfect day
But love has a mind of its own
Meandering softly through the blindness of abhorrence
Leaving messages of hope
Creating wishful thinking of renewal

There is a place in all hearts for true love
Recognising it is not difficult
Making a home for it is easy
But trying to maintain the momentum
We wind up with a deadlock of false/stubborn pride...

It is not God who creates the cesspools of life
They are man made by those who should know better...